That title may have misled a few of you. Before going any further you should know this is not about money, kindness or paying it forward. This ... no, this is about a middle age problem. Sparing my children complete embarrassment as Mom tries to relate with some readers, we’re just going to say it’s about “change.”
That special change which a select group of us experience at a certain time in life.
Perhaps we recall our own mothers on this journey in our childhood and the misery or uncertainty the family felt on any given day – yeah. I’m there.
Acknowledging I am not the first, nor will I be the last to face this life hurdle, it is not my intention to use this space to whine but rather share some eye opening realizations.
Through my past experience as a woman struggling with infertility I learned these are things that we don’t really talk about, yet welcome the openness all the same. Some people seem to take comfort in the knowledge of knowing they’re not alone in certain life struggles.
Some can be as simple as sharing with a friend mommy frustrations, as we work through at fine tuning our patience during tough parenting moments. Like the one time, I shared with a girlfriend I had to place myself in a time out to prevent myself from saying something to my children I might later regret. She not only appreciated the honesty, but shared how good it felt to not feel alone in her similar frustrations.
This “change” however, this passage to a new phase of life has really spun me sideways on many fronts. The heat is a given. It’s been a hot summer, but I can honestly say I’ve spontaneously combusted (from internal heat) more than I care to recall the past three months. It’s truly an odd sensation and as a person who likes to make “sense” out of things it just seems non-sensical.
Oh sure, I’ve done my fair share of reading on the causes, effects and ways to curtail the fun of “change,” yet I’m still far from mastering it, this is for sure.
In the spirit of complete honesty, I must share that the mood swing portion recently got the best of me. Not one to be used to being unhappy or negative (most especially on a whim), I found myself on a phone call with my mother in tears about this very topic. No longer did I feel like myself. The swings had caught up with me and resulted in a mini breakdown of sorts.
As my mother talked me through it and heard my concerns of its effect on me, as well as those who love me, a plan was put into place. I could and would get through this, just as she and every woman before me has, but it’s going to take patience. Ironically, no different than when we worked at becoming a family. It took time, patience, understanding and a lot of love. That’s where I am now.
From a control standpoint, I made a visit to Oakdale Nutrition Center and began taking supplements to help level things out. I’ve also modified my diet a bit and now have a better understanding as to why so much bloat is happening in my midsection. Fatigue has indeed set in and that too is hard, as I enjoy being outside with my family and being active. From an exercise standpoint the struggle is indeed real, like never before, however; I recognize its necessity now more than ever.
In short, I truly had no clue how taxing this would be on not just my body, but me overall and as result those who love me as well. Again, I recall the “swings” my own mother experienced and they weren’t fun, but eventually she returned to us and yes, we survived.
So therein lies the good news, I will survive this and so too will my family. Our AC bill may hit record levels, but that is temporary as well, at least we have an option. This midlife stuff is truly no joke.
So this one’s for my fellow heat warriors, those who have journeyed this uncomfortable state of nature, as well as those who have yet to cross the threshold. Godspeed ladies, here’s to colder nights, smiles bright and a bloat-less future.
Teresa Hammond is a staff reporter for The Oakdale Leader, The Riverbank News and The Escalon Times. She may be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org or by calling 847-3021.