A few weeks back I penned a piece on letting go and living peace. To be truthful at the time with so much going on in the world, they were the only thoughts I could string together coherently.
Much to my surprise, a piece I felt was a bit “out there” and one of my truest personal reflections to date was a hit with our readers. Apparently a number of us are feeling the same way and be it the COVID isolation or the confusion of the world at large, the cards and e-mails came in.
This speaks volumes to the gratitude I shared in that piece, again, I believe myself to be lucky (i.e.: blessed) and there’s not enough hate in the world to convince me otherwise.
In that piece I also spoke a bit about knowing who you are and not letting the world tell you otherwise. That takes some work and if being honest has taken me 50-plus years to actually master.
A few years back I was fortunate enough to spend some time in Sedona, alone with 120 strangers from around the world, nothing familiar but what I had packed. This would be the beginning of coming to peace with who I truly am.
In short, while yes I am an empath, I’m also a number of other things including imperfect and am at complete peace with that. I lived the past life as a new wife, mommy of young children trying to create the “perfect” living space, “perfect” birthday party and yes, “perfectly” outfitted children.
Here’s what I learned: the couch still gets stained, the floor still get scratched, kids may cry at the party and those “perfect” clothes get lived in.
The best part of recognizing one’s imperfections is twofold, first being forgiveness. Forgiveness of yourself as well as others, who you equally recognize (whether they do or not) are also imperfect. It also makes it easier to acknowledge with others when you know you “screwed up.”
The downside of course is that it’s not everyone’s reality. We still live very much in a world of individuals who believe they know it all, you have no clue and they would gladly like to school you – on the world as well as who you are as a person. Now that just makes me giggle and brings us full circle to knowing who you are.
What I love most about learning these lessons at this point in life is the ability to share them with my children. The saying holds true, as parents we want our children to have better lives than we did. While that may conjure up the image of much which is material, the lesson of being better imperfect humans is equally or more important.
Recently while on a walk I shared this with my own children. I spoke with them about being at peace with their imperfections and working at living with a heart of forgiveness versus hate.
You see when you recognize that you are indeed not perfect it becomes easier to forgive others. Gone are the days of chalking up all the wrong that they do or have done. While we may not forget, the power of forgiveness helps one move above the emotion of hate or resentment. You simply move forward with peace.
We also spoke about working on the imperfections because who on earth would want to intentionally cause harm to another because of something they are working on personally. The gist of course being, imperfect is who we are, but bettering ourselves for the world should remain the goal.
Lastly of course there is the power of self-talk and speaking your truth (as they say), as the world fights to tell you, you are something you are not. Finding the strength to not make that your truth is perhaps the most empowering thing one can do for themselves and man do we need that now more than ever. Listening with an open mind to address what may benefit your growth is good, adopting the limited mindset of believing the insecurities others may project onto you – bad.
In short it comes down to this and this is what I teach my children, always be open to growth. Don’t let the anger of others define who you are or harden the kind heart God gave you to share. In the end when you make peace with the fact of not being perfect forgiveness comes easier – in time.
Teresa Hammond is a staff reporter for The Oakdale Leader, The Riverbank News and The Escalon Times. She may be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org or by calling 847-3021.