I’m truly not a “helicopter mom,” until I am.

Got your attention? Well, if you are a parent of a teen or even a child please listen up. They need our guidance.

As they navigate a world we couldn’t have dreamed of at their age, it’s our responsibility to not only educate ourselves, but educate them as well.

My focus specifically for this piece is the internet, the World Wide Web and all the things it links to. Not just a simple Safari or Google search, I’m talking all the resources and threats quickly at their fingers through Wi-Fi connection.

This came to me most recently as local news reported on arrests made of child predators right here in the 209 and yes some from our very area.

Of course I’m sure there were many who thought the parents should have done a better job, how could they not know and the like. Truth be told, as a helicopter mom in this chapter of my kids’ lives I’ve come to learn a bit which was not as obvious as access from their laptops or smart phones.

Gaming consoles, both mobile and home systems also offer opportunity for individuals to connect with strangers. Even better yet, I had all the restrictions set on my kids’ smart phones, only to learn during an “impromptu” check, that they know all the “backends” and “hacks” to still access what I had thought was set as a restriction.

Yes, for those wondering, that resulted in disciplinary action.

I am not the parent who feels those are “their phones” and I must respect their privacy.

Let me be more specific. I recently read a parenting article and the importance of respecting our children’s privacy. I agree with that. In the article it also discussed parents (like myself) who randomly check their students phones and hold certain restrictions on the usage as well as their use of social media. The word narcissist was used, which quite honestly took me back a bit and made me reexamine my parenting skills.

The comparison which was used was respecting their right to privacy with their phones just as you would their diary or journal. It’s their space and should be respected.

Wait what?

First of all I really did some soul searching and some introspection upon seeing the word narcissist for periodically/infrequently checking my teen’s phone. Yet as I thought it through more deeply, I quickly realized how preposterous the analogy was. Strangers cannot access or sneak their way into my teen’s life in a diary or journal. All the other sources mentioned they absolutely can, will and are.

My job as a parent who pays for the phones as well as the service is to not only protect my child from such pond scum but educate them as well.

Human trafficking is a real thing and our area is prime location because our kids are not only sheltered but incredibly trusting. While it’s not my goal to raise guarded/shut off humans, it is my job to ensure they’re educated - even on the tough stuff.

Now just to be clear I’m not just talking about the strangers, but recognizing the power they give to others via social media and texting as well. Photos and videos which may seem harmless to share with close friends or a partner may come back to haunt them via “harmless sharing.”

Let’s be clear here on one thing, there’s no such thing as harmless and teens, while I love mine dearly, can also be some of the most hurtful people on the planet.

Here’s the thing and the point of this, what may seem preachy piece. I had to make a decision early on how it would best be to navigate this World Wide Web which is absolutely over my head, in some areas.

Both of my kids are aware that a phone check can happen and might. That being said, it’s not because I am some sort of control freak who wants to know all their business. It’s because I understand they are teenagers and just as I was at their age, it can be tempting to break the rules and check out things which are forbidden. Hello Adam and Eve, this is not a new development.

I would rather be a parent that cared too much and perhaps be judged by some, than one who can’t believe that could happen to their son or daughter.

Most importantly what I hope we all come away with upon seeing all that is out there threatening our children is simple. Talk to your children. Listen to their thoughts on this very topic. Ask them how they feel. Connect with them in a way which is respectful and non-threatening.

I’ve learned a lot from my kids through these talks and while their freedoms may not be the same as their peers, I’m okay with that. And oddly enough as time unfolds, they have become as well.

Teresa Hammond is a staff reporter for The Oakdale Leader, The Riverbank News and The Escalon Times. She may be reached at thammond@oakdaleleader.com or by calling 209-847-3021.