Some of us really need to lighten up and take a step back.

Those are the initial words that came to me late last week as my best friend’s daughter vented on behalf of her four-year-old child.

As a mom of two young children, she is finding her way and just like many of us “mommies” her momma bear game is strong. Not to be misunderstood, she’s taken much which she learned from her own childhood and is applying it to her own son and daughter. Far from helicopter status, yet modeling manners, respect and kindness with her two little humans.

Her son however, happens to have long hair and believe it or not in the year 2024 it is posing a problem.

My head is shaking as I type this, as I marvel at Gender Neutral changing rooms, restrooms and the whole “identify as” movement, boys with long hair is far from a new thing.

Before exploring further I must candidly share this piece is not politically motivated in any way. As I marveled at this dilemma which she’s struggled with a bit more as of late with her son in school I tried to understand the big picture, both sides and the incessant “she’s so pretty,” she gets on the regular with her dinosaur T-shirt wearing four-year-old.

Now, this is where the aforementioned “identify as” may be stringing this problem along well into this century, which I’m still balled by. Perhaps the kind people don’t want to be presumptive- poppy cock. Maybe they raised tomboys (are we even still allowed to say this?). Or maybe, just maybe they’re simply insensitive, I really don’t know.

What concerns me so is that during a time in our history where we are being coached to be more sensitive to others’ feelings, I love a four-year-old that must deal with ignorance daily. Silly things like classmates asking why he has “girl hair” - mom, dad, guardians, educate your children. Then of course there’s the wisdom of others (that’s sarcasm) offering advice of why don’t you just cut it?

Believe it or not this little guy likes his long hair. He’s an early school rock-n-roller who also happens to love Thor the super hero and thinks it’s cool that Jesus had long hair too. Imagine that, Jesus had long hair.

Truth be told many young men whom I love have had “long” hair, including my son. If being honest my daughter and I were quite jealous as his has more body than ours and was quite stunning. When he was ready for a new look, he had it cut. It’s really pretty simple stuff and in the day and age of sensitivity - personal choice.

So what do we do?

That’s what I find myself pondering most because really this is quite simply about life lessons. In case you missed it the lessons are not for the mother and her child but for the rest of us as a society.

There has to be a more tactful way when placed in this situation.

I now find myself chuckling at this as I recognize, this is not actually a “situation” – he’s a kid like every other going about his day and living his best TK life. We must be empowered to teach and model to our youth proper manners and what inappropriateness looks like. Pretty simple stuff really.

Case in point, as adults when we see a lady we haven’t seen for a while and her midsection may be protruding a bit more than it once was, IF we have any sort of class or decorum, we refrain from asking “when are you due?”

Follow me?

Perhaps instead of chiming “what a beautiful little girl, her hair is so beautiful or how old is she?” when encountering a long-haired child dressed from head to toe like an old school boy use the word “child.”

As for our littles, just as adults and classmates commented on my son’s hair when he was a teen, that will likely inevitably continue to happen. But why not be the person who tries to empower their little to be the better person - like Jesus.

While it may not seem harming to many of us, it’s confusing to a four-year-old who not only knows who he is, but doesn’t understand why so many others care about his hair.

And that’s where we’ll land the plane. Perhaps as we’re busy teaching our children (and ourselves) about acceptance and tolerance we also need to remember the age old yet often forgotten, mind our own business.

Cheers to our little Thor and all that he has to teach this world.

Teresa Hammond is a staff reporter for The Oakdale Leader, The Riverbank News and The Escalon Times. She may be reached at thammond@oakdaleleader.com or by calling 209-847-3021.