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Too old for Santa, but not ready to be left out of Christmas giving
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Santa ignores them. Programs typically don't include them. So when the adults in their lives don't have the resources to give, they simply get left out during the holidays. - photo by Lois M. Collins
Santa's got enough on his hands without worrying about them. The adults in their lives often can't do much to help them. And programs that reach out to the needy with gifts and supplies during the holidays usually have a carve-out that specifically excludes them.

Christmas is a terrible time for some teenagers. And when it's over and they return to school with their peers, they may even be at a greater disadvantage than when the season started.

Every year at this season, people call to my attention others who get left out. A lot of people for various reasons are invisible to the general population, including people who are institutionalized in places like long-term care facilities or who are homebound and largely unseen, sidelined by severe stroke or cancer or some other medical challenge. I've written over the years about people who are homeless or mentally ill or who have developmental disabilities that leave them forever young mentally, though their bodies have grown and people don't alway recognize their childlike qualities and needs.

But teens are not unseen. They are in our families and our friends' families. We see them at church and at the store and as we travel through our towns. What we may not see, however, is the potential for sorrow and disappointment in a season that's heralded as joyous and hopeful.

Brent Severe will tell you that teens in low-income families are among the neediest at Christmas. He's the chief executive officer of the Granite Education Foundation in Salt Lake City, and he works directly with some of the families that struggle. It's a source of frustration to him that most programs that provide gifts at Christmas or other help for children leave teenagers out to focus on the littler kids.

"We've found individuals, families and corporations are eager to help infants to age 12, so they can bring the magic of the holiday to them. Kids 12 to 18 are often overlooked, their needs neglected," said Severe, whose foundation is attached to a school district that has 68,000 students, 65 percent of them in families that are at or below the federal poverty line of just over $24,000 for a family of four in the continental United States.

While those older kids might be able to understand that dollars are limited and they certainly don't expect anything from Santa Claus, they still have basic needs like socks and sweatshirts, coats and shoes. And they have wants, too, just like their peers and everyone else. They, too, see all the items being marketed during this highly consumer-driven season and wish they could afford the latest toy or tech or clothing. But they're less likely to get anything than younger kids and not much more likely to be helped than needy adults.

"They witness younger siblings opening gifts and experiencing the joy and they just get left on the sidelines to observe," he said.

Some question their own worth. Some kids feel mad or hurt. Sometimes, they act out, putting undue stress on a family that may already be seriously strained by financial and other problems, said Severe. Often, it spills over to the school system, where social workers and counselors are already "maxed out."

It's not even just a holiday issue. When the new school year begins, small kids may get a bag stuffed with school supplies or even an outfit or two. Low-income teens are far less likely to be the recipients of such bounty of any bounty at all. Lack of attention and targeted help with supplies like scientific calculators and other needed help may even explain in part why only a small percentage of teenagers in foster care even attempt to go to college.

Beyond that, reaching out to teenagers who are needy at Christmas is simple kindness, Severe said. "These kids do have worth and need to be validated, too."