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Dawn's Column - Loos, Lace, And The Law
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Usually when it comes to our columns, we write about what’s going on in our lives. In a previous column, I made the promise that I wouldn’t write too much about my wedding planning. The problem is, that with the exception of car trouble and my fiancé being stuck on jury duty because he thought he wouldn’t get selected, wedding planning is pretty much what my life’s been all about lately. That was precisely what I was hoping to avoid.

It’s probably not a good idea to vent my ire concerning my guy’s new jury commitment because enough time hasn’t gone by yet for me to laugh about it. My recent car trouble also stresses me out because it’s not drivable and I have a weekend work commitment and other stuff I need a vehicle for, so I’ve decided that I need something lighter to discuss.

I’ve selected a couple key vendors, but I’m sweating that there are other key details I haven’t nailed down yet. Flowers, caterer, party rental…

I would say that one of my bigger headaches right now has to do with the need for people to relieve themselves. Since my wedding will be at a private residence, I need to rent a nice restroom trailer. A construction site portable toilet is not acceptable. These special bathrooms actually flush, have running water, lighting, mirrors, A/C, and so on. They are called things like “executive restrooms” or “Olympic trailers.” They also come with words such as “royal” and “blue ribbon” in their names.

Do you see where I’m going with this? Just from the names alone, you can tell these things cost a lot of money — in fact, they cost somewhere in the neighborhood of $1,000.

A thousand dollars?!

Are they golden toilets, you ask?

No, they just aren’t that common in this area and mileage adds up.

For that kind of money, I guess I’ll have a red carpet leading up to the throne and be sure to tell everyone to make good use of it. After hearing the price, one colleague told me that that the toity trailer could be like the “piéce de résistance” at the wedding.

Does this qualify as toilet humor?

I digress, I’ve held off on booking this special amenity and hope to make a deal with someone. It is a down economy after all.

I’d recently decided that this was a perfect job for my fiancé the businessman to handle. It would be something off my plate. But with this jury duty thing, and him being out of commission daily for an extended period of time, I’m likely back on latrine detail.

Feeling the pressure to hurry up and find a wedding dress, my matron of honor and I went to Pleasanton the other day after work to do a little reconnaissance for bridal and bridesmaid dresses. It was a total strikeout for me, but then I realized that it’s inventory time and the stores are trying to clear out their stock.

The dress selections weren’t what I’d hoped for, but for everyday clothing, it’s deals galore out there. I decided to switch gears and find something to wear for the engagement photo instead. I’m now distracted by shopping for deals at Macy’s instead of shopping for a wedding gown.

Well, shopping is a stress reliever, you know.

Several people have told me that the dress needs to be found pronto because alterations take time. I’m going to try not to worry too much…yet.

I feel a little overwhelmed. Maybe I need more retail therapy — and a vacation before the wedding.

To add to my gown-shopping quandary, my girlfriend is winging her way to Maui for a two-week vacation with her family during this prime shopping time. I had asked her if she wanted to dress shop with me on Super Bowl Sunday while the guys are glued to the TV, but she’ll be sipping umbrella drinks on the beach instead — also a way to relieve stress.

I should have stowed away.

The good news is that the honeymoon details have been set for several weeks. I wish the wedding and reception details were as easy.


Dawn M. Henley is a staff reporter for The Oakdale Leader, The Riverbank News, and The Escalon Times. She may be reached at or by calling 847-3021.