Stop me if you have heard this before.
My daughter is getting married.
I know, some of you already got that memo and, to be honest, it is amazing how much of everyone’s time (at least those in the bride and groom’s immediate families) it is consuming. But that’s the way weddings are, I guess, so much to plan for, put in place, get organized, etc., etc.
There have also been plenty of folks offering their help in going with me to select an outfit which, by the way, will likely not be a mother of the bride dress. Fact being, the last time I wore a dress was at my own wedding and that was over 24 years ago. Not much of a dress person, I guess. Will keep you posted on what the eventual shopping excursions find.
We are counting down the days and I am starting to look at the long-range forecasts to see what type of weather they are predicting in late October. Even in that regard, it really doesn’t matter because whatever that day brings, we will have to roll with it. My daughter is having nightmares about things going wrong – in one, her fiancé was stuck in Kansas – he went there just because, no real reason – and didn’t get back in time … she had to tell everyone they were going to have to postpone the wedding. Another time, it was the DJ that didn’t show; still another nightmare had her waking up an hour before the ceremony with precious little time to get ready.
All three of those scenarios are pretty unlikely, except the one where she oversleeps, but even that one probably won’t happen as she will have plenty of bridal party members around to wake her up bright and early on wedding day. And I really don’t think fiancé Judd has any serious interest in traveling to Kansas.
Friend and co-worker Teresa Hammond and I shared some sniffling moments in early August, when her kids started back to school – one a seventh grader, the other a freshman – and we were remembering back to when Ally was at Magnolia Elementary School in Oakdale, just learning her ABCs and 123s, before Teresa’s kids were even born. Talk about time flying! We were reminiscing and just overwhelmed by the fact that kids grow up, faster than you think.
Then of course you go through those tough years when they don’t like you simply because you are their parent. By the same token, even though you love them, you’re not really sure you like them too much at that point, either. But those years thankfully pass and sooner or later, you like your kids again. And you never really stopped loving them.
I am grateful that Ally went through her phase of thinking I was the dumbest person in the world fairly early. She is appalled when she remembers how she treated me and can’t believe she would ever be that mean to me. I told her it is something that nearly every parent and child goes through at some time in their lives.
The good news is once we got past that and I was no longer as dumb as I once was, it paved the way for us to develop a good mother-daughter relationship. As she graduated from high school, embarked on balancing college and work, and then got engaged, we also saw our relationship change. I will always be her mother but it’s nice now to be able to also be a friend. She doesn’t need me reminding her to get her homework done, though I still lapse into mother hen behavior a bit too often. It’s a hard habit to break but one I am working on, realizing that – less than two months away from being married – she is busy being an adult and doing a pretty good job at it.
So we go into warp speed to get things finalized over the next few weeks, then have the rehearsal dinner and, in whatever outfit is selected for the big day, I will try to keep it all together as I walk her down the aisle.
Marg Jackson is editor of The Escalon Times, The Oakdale Leader and The Riverbank News. She may be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org or by calling 847-3021.