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Waisting Time
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I’m looking for my waist. Have you seen my waist? Maybe it’s at Cahoots, Moss Rose, Firenze’s? It’s definitely not at Fitness Plus or Koru Yoga Studio or maybe ... It is.

No ... this is not a silly rendition of a Dr. Seuss book for New Year’s resolutions, it’s actually real life as I currently see it.

As many know (especially us ‘middle’ age ladies) the struggle is real.

Gone are the days of consuming what we want, when we want and as much as we want with no physical retribution. Yes ... even my perceived ‘skinny’ or ‘lighter’/thin friends have confessed to this same frustration. Simply put, it’s tough.

So here we are, days before the New Year. A time when many will list their hopes and dreams for 2016 and also look to goals achieved or to continue working on.

What I truly want is to liberate my once ‘fat’ jeans (i.e.: fit like sweats) from becoming my tight jeans.

Now of course I also want world peace, an end to senseless violence, good health and the like ... but we have to start somewhere. I’m choosing to start with my ‘fat’ jeans. It’s a mind boggling transformation that can somehow just simply sneak up on us.

Personally, I blame El Nino. Yes, I blame the weather for my ‘fat’ jeans becoming my tight jeans. Skirt and dress season lasted longer as temps continued to be moderate. This apparel offers a much more liberating and flexible waistline. My jeans stayed at bay and apparently my waist and dare I admit my hips grew a bit.

We went from a blissful 68 to 72 degrees with hopes of rain and snow in the mountains, to freezing temps overnight. This is when my … ahem … problem was realized.

Just as it was a slow progression from last May until late November for this ‘softness’ to occur, it will be likewise on the reverse to liberate my body of the muffin top that was once a sweet little cake pop.

I’ve shared through the years, I’m truthfully not a ‘resolutions’ type girl. I’m goal focused and that can and does occur at any time. I’m not the person who waits for the first of January to go full tilt for something. This time around, thanks to El Nino of course, the discovery just happens to coincide with the beginning of a new year.

So here’s to rediscovering my cake pop middle and returning my ‘fat’ jeans to their appropriate place in my wardrobe by mid spring. Oh and breathing. Here’s to returning to breathing comfortably in my other jeans, slacks and yes, even a few sweaters.

It’s been a pretty wonderful and memorable 2015. My health is great, my blessings abundant and my friends and family continue to be equally as blessed. If ‘fat’ jeans and a rounded waistline are my biggest struggle, how can I possibly complain? It’s simple, I can’t.

Happy New Year to our readers. Thank you to the five sets of eyes that look for my photo each week to see what I’m spouting off about this time. And lastly here’s to a year full of little problems and big memories. God bless!


Teresa Hammond is a staff reporter for The Oakdale Leader, The Riverbank News and The Escalon Times. She may be reached at or by calling 847-3021.