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Dawn’s Column - On To Something ‘Big’

POSTED June 9, 2010 9:31 a.m.

A couple years ago around this time, I wrote a column about going to see the Sex And The City movie on opening night. I drove three hours to meet up with one of my partner-in-crime girlfriends from college and some of her girlfriends who held a ‘Big’ bash, complete with cosmopolitans (and champagne and kamikazes and…) and a limo to drive all 10 of us to the theater. It was memorable.

Now, the sequel has come out and of course, I wanted to go see it. When I very first heard that they were making the ‘Sex’ sequel, I texted my girlfriend and she replied, “it’s a date.”

Well, then I got engaged. Which was awesome. Then I started to get really busy with all the wedding planning.

My girlfriend went to see the movie, but alas, I have been so busy I’ve been unable to go to the theater. So what I’m telling you is that I’ve had no time for ‘Sex.’

I’m getting married this weekend to my own ‘Mr. Big’ but the stress is starting to get to me.

I almost had a Bridezilla moment the other day when I went to order the beer keg. The store clerk dared to tell me that he wasn’t sure if they had that particular type of beer in stock or if they were going to be getting any more in soon.

Wrong answer.

I had been into the establishment multiple times over the past few months purchasing beverages to serve. Each time, I asked what kind of advance notice they needed for ordering a keg of this particular brew. The answer was always the same, “only about a week,” they said, “we always have it.”

As soon as I gave a rebuttal to the clerk’s initial unfortunate response, I realized I didn’t come off as sounding very nice. Fortunately for all parties concerned, they had one in the back and put my order tag on it with expediency.

Another thing that’s had me irritated is that my fiancé had to go out of town on a business trip with late notice for an entire week — the week before the wedding. I’d prefer he deal with ordering the beer instead of traveling where he can’t be of any help to me at all. I’m wondering if this trip “came up” on purpose.

I’ve planned big events before; the difference now is that it’s not my job so I don’t have eight hours a day to devote to it. Before, I also only needed to worry about what I was wearing, not about what other people would wear. If they didn’t look good, that was their problem.

This wedding thing is a whole different ball game. Pictures last a long time. What are the groom, best man, father of the bride, and bridesmaids going to wear? My mother only very recently found her dress — I won’t get started on that. I asked her in the best, non-Bridezilla way I could considering my amount of stress, to return one that she had already purchased.

People have been asking me for weeks if I’m getting nervous. My answer has been, “No, I’ve been too busy to be nervous.” My biggest concern is that there will be something that I forgot to do, something important. My future mother-in-law said not to worry because if anything goes awry, it’s likely that the only ones who will know are the bride and groom. I suppose if everyone has enough to drink they may not really care too much if there is something noticeably absent.

As I’ve said in a previous column, I don’t want a big, extravagant wedding. Nothing like the first wedding that the characters Carrie and Big planned in ‘Sex.’ I just want to keep it simple, but not justice-of-the-peace simple.

So I have managed to avoid big and extravagant, but “simple,” well, it was a nice dream to have.

Here’s my two cents to soon-to-be brides: don’t think that just because you’re having a “small” wedding that there won’t be the same amount of planning as there is for a big one. There are still all the same details, just in smaller quantities.

Whether you’re inviting 50 people or 500 people, they all need food, drinks, entertainment, seating, restrooms, designated smoking areas, lodging, and so on.

Your big day still requires a venue, a couple of people to stand up for you, a license, and an officiant. If you want to have an event, you also need invitations, a wedding registry, a pretty white dress, shoes, jewelry, good hair, makeup and a suntan. In addition, you’ll need a groom in suitable attire, rings, toasting flutes, a song for your first dance, a guest book and pen, favors, programs, wedding cake, a cake knife and server, flowers and a myriad of other decorations.

If you have a wedding coordinator — which, by the way, is a good idea — you have to choose whether you want that person to handle your wedding details a la celebrity-style, to just do the itinerary of the day itself, or something in between.

One of my coworkers keeps saying, “See, Dawn, size doesn’t matter.”

I’m pretty sure she means that in reference to the size of the wedding.

 

Dawn M. Henley is a staff reporter for The Oakdale Leader, The Riverbank News, and The Escalon Times. She may be reached at dhenley@oakdaleleader.com or by calling 847-3021.

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